Happy Halloween!

*Ah, Halloween. The forgotten holiday (for me, at least). I haven't dressed up since 2005 and I haven't seen a trick-or-treater since long before that. I hope some of you did something awesome to make up for my failures.

*Upon turning 27, I realized it was time to get shit done. I made a Thirty Before Thirty list. It seemed like a good idea for a girl like myself who has a hard time getting off the couch unless there's a goal or an incentive involved. I also very much like crossing things off of lists.

*One of the things on my list was to learn how to cook Pad See Ew. Everytime I order it I say, "This can't be that hard to make!" And that was true. Sort of. It started with a trip to an Asian market (because my grocery store doesn't carry kai-lan (Chinese broccoli) or bahn pho (rice noodles). (Just droppin' a little egg of knowledge on your head there. Thank me later.) I had to take a chance on a few ingredients because nothing was in English and I made the clerks nervous when I attempted to ask them questions. One woman said, "I don't understand why you are trying to ask me!" I assume what she meant to say was that she didn't understand what I was trying to ask her. But maybe not. Anyway, it was awesome and now I feel ready to attack the rest of my list. Stay tuned.

*I'm fairly certain that I would be BFF with the following people if given the chance: The Pioneer Woman, John Cusack, Rachel McAdams, Ben Folds, and Ellen DeGeneres.

*Things making me happy as of late: An impromptu visit from Collin, the beach house in the Outer Banks we just booked for SBK2K11, my trip to FL for my sister's birthday, and my family coming to ME for Thanksgiving this year. Suck it, Sunbury!

*As for the picture above, it was the only Halloween-related picture I could find. Although I have a lot of questions about it. Like, why did nobody tell me to stop eating so many carbs? And what is Jaime supposed to be? And why did I have to cut someone out because they weren't wearing pants?

I'm not scared of much. Seriously. Heights, bugs, clowns, none of it really freaks me out. Today I even ate a muffin that had fallen on the ground. Because germs don't freak me out.

And you know what I always say. If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space. That was on the back of a "No Fear" shirt I wore every Friday to the skating rink in 6th grade.

But these people, they're cray-cray. I mean there has to be something wrong with them. But still, I like it.

"What?"

Northerly Island

Last weekend, we field-tested my new camera lens with some friends on Northerly Island, a man-made peninsula along Lake Michigan.

We came across these three beautiful sculptures and after taking a billion pictures of them, I had to know more about them. I honestly don't know what people did before Google.



Turns out, they are all made from scraps of old Cadillac cars and the artist used a mold of her own face for all three.



They are meant to resemble Daphne.

So who was Daphne?
In Greek mythology, Daphne was a beautiful girl who preferred to spend her time hunting in the woods rather than meeting men. I can understand. Apollo fell desperately in love with Daphne and began chasing her. She did what any smart girl would do and took off running. When Apollo was about to catch her she prayed to her father for help, who transformed her into a laurel tree. I'm certain that there were better solutions. Her hair became leaves, her arms became branches, her feet stuck in the ground as roots, and she retained nothing of her former self but her beautiful face. Apollo stood amazed and said, "since you cannot be my wife, you shall be my tree. I will wear you for my crown." Apollo declared that the leaves of the laurel tree would always be green and he would always wear a wreath of laurel leaves around his head. Since then the laurel has become a symbol of victory in Greek culture. Although I'm not totally sure where the "victory" is in this story.

The lesson here: Ladies, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Men, if she seems like she's not that into you, LEAVE HER THE HELL ALONE. Or she may turn into a tree. And then you'll have to pretend that you still like her. Lest you appear shallow.

Oh, hi there. It's been a long time. Sorry about that.

Lots of exciting things going on around here. Like what, you ask?

*Amber May is now Amber Wilson. Update your address books, ya'll. It was an amazing wedding weekend with lots of champagne and laughter. I am so, so happy for her.
*While in Greenville, Matt's sister, Ali, came to visit! We put her to work making wedding favors where she excelled at tying tiny bows on tiny boxes with tiny ribbon. Thanks, Ali! It was great to see you!
*Logan Brown entered the world. Congrats, Ashleigh and Cass! Even though you didn't take any of our name recommendations, I think you did a pretty good job.
*I turned 27. It feels a lot like 26. There was a scavenger hunt, presents, and cake. A good start to what I predict will be a good year.
*I field-tested one of my new presents, an awesome new lens for my camera from Matt. See above.
*I booked a trip to see my sister and my favorite nieces and nephew in November!
*We took a field trip to an apple orchard/pumpkin patch. I ate enough doughnuts and drank enough cider to last me until next fall.
*I finally finished my damn Rushdie book. It never did pick up.
*Matt turned 27 and we went to a Guided by Voices concert to celebrate. Not only did we stand, but the people around us actually crowd surfed. We are young, after all!

Until next time!

Holy Boredom

My friends, I am spending my entire day at home, earning my Continuing Legal Education credits.

You may be asking yourself, "didn't she JUST graduate from law school and JUST take the bar exam?" And you would be correct. But the State of Illinois still requires 15 hours of additional legal learnin' within the first year of being admitted.

So you watch these videos online. And every few minutes, you have to confirm that you're still watching. I'm 37 minutes in and I already want to shoot myself. Even if I am in my pajamas.

But, Sarah Selong just added some much needed excitement to my morning by getting engaged! Good work, Jeff! This is going to be one fun wedding! Congratulations and I miss you both!

What do you mean I'm broke?

Retail therapy is something I strongly believe in. I learned this from my mother, who used to take me shopping after every horrible break-up of my youth. She'd buy me a 'F*#! Jimmy' purse, or 'Screw Bobby' shoes (Note: The names have been changed to protect the innocent. And sometimes the not-so-innocent...I'm looking at you, Justyn), and suddenly, colors were a little brighter and food tasted a little better and I was on the road to recovery and looking for the next poor sap to call my boyfriend.

Unfortunately, this habit remained after I moved out of my mother's house and lost access to her pocketbook (at least full-time, anyway).

Lately, I've been pretty unhappy at work for lots of reasons. As a result, the FedEx man has been bringing quite a few boxes to our door. Which is all well and fine until my credit card bill also finds it's way to our door. Then, I will spiral downward into a depression that will take even more retail therapy to get out of. C'est la vie.

Below is a sampling of items I've recently received:

I mentioned my pumpkin candles. What I didn't mention were the cafe au lait candles and the apple pie candles and the cinnamon and sugar candles. I ordered 15 of these suckers, mostly in scents that smell like delicious baked goods and I couldn't be happier.


I love this foundation. I've been wearing Bare Minerals for a long, long time and needed to change it up a little. This stuff feels super smooth and isn't so thick that I feel like a tranny-whore.


What? You actually think I could use more tranny-whorishness in my life? No worries, I recently purchased this Essie Wicked nail polish. Essie describes it as "a deep and dark creamy sinister red." It's on my toes as I type and I certainly do feel a bit sinister.


Pretty retro, huh? I also bought two other dresses from Target in this collection, all to be worn with tights and boots as fall progresses. (See supra, Nicole M. Churchill, Randomness, KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON, Sept. 27, 2010). Lawyer citation jokes!


I'm wearing this dress in yesterday's post, so I guess it's time to admit that I own a dress designed by Lauren Conrad. There. I said it. I feel much better. I'm also able to finally come out with this because I know a certain someone who recently wore a dress designed by Brittany Spears.


This one's a little bit of a cheat. I didn't actually purchase it myself. What I did was take a field trip with Matt's mom and grandma to the liquor store where I think I sneaked this into the cart and then they left it in our fridge. Score! It's my new pre-dinner wine (not to be confused with my during-dinner wine or my after-dinner wine). Apparently, it's got hints of "gooseberry, passion fruit and citrus." Whatever. All I know is that it's great. The unoaked chardonnay is also awesome.

In law school, they told us one way to control your spending was to freeze your credit cards in a bowl of water. That way, if you want something, you have to think long and hard about it while you wait for your cards to thaw. I'm considering it. I'm also considering having a glass of wine and seeing what's on sale at gap.com. I have all my credit card numbers memorized anyway. No frozen bowl is going to get in the way of my retail therapy!