Blogger tells me random statistics, like, how many page views I've had and that 70% of you are using a Mac computer right now (why the heck would anyone need to know that?). But one of the most interesting things it tells me is that someone from Germany is reading Keep Calm and Carry On.
My blog isn't publicly searchable...so which one of you is it?
I hope it's this kid:
I don't even think he's German, but Jaime and I watched that video about a billion times in college, so I thought I'd include it.
We also watched this about a billion times:
But I bet you're asking yourself, what has this blog become? Some sort of video library? Some sort of new YouTube? Have you had enough of my sharing random clips?
Well, too bad! Because here's another one:
Ok, now I'm done. Finished. Promise. Except for this last clip, which I feel is appropriate since I'm headed home to Sunbury for the weekend and will be spending the entire time teaching the family golden retriever, Thurman, to do this:
Happy Labor Day weekend, everyone!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
"I bought those boat tickets the day I saw that YouTube video."
Honestly, I cried more during Jim and Pam's wedding than at most real weddings I've attended.
If you haven't watched it lately, do it. It always puts me in a better mood.
And as far as The Office goes, Creed is my favorite, by far. Anything he says is guaranteed to make me laugh.
If you haven't watched it lately, do it. It always puts me in a better mood.
And as far as The Office goes, Creed is my favorite, by far. Anything he says is guaranteed to make me laugh.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Goop
I eat a lot of crap.
But every once in a while, I actually put real food in my body. I believe my body is grateful for this and, as a result, allows me to continue abusing it in various ways.
One quasi-healthy food I've been eating a lot lately is goop. I feel like people should know about goop in case they, too, owe their body a favor.
Here's the deal, yo: Buy bananas. Let them sit on the counter until they get brown icky spots. Peel them, cut them up, and freeze them. Throw them in a food processor for a few minutes and *poof* you have banana soft serve. AKA goop.
I usually add peanut butter. Because a girl can only take so much healthiness in her life.
And then I sit on the couch and eat my goop while I watch Matt do P90X. God, I wish Tony Horton would die. He's ruining my goop experience.
But every once in a while, I actually put real food in my body. I believe my body is grateful for this and, as a result, allows me to continue abusing it in various ways.
One quasi-healthy food I've been eating a lot lately is goop. I feel like people should know about goop in case they, too, owe their body a favor.
Here's the deal, yo: Buy bananas. Let them sit on the counter until they get brown icky spots. Peel them, cut them up, and freeze them. Throw them in a food processor for a few minutes and *poof* you have banana soft serve. AKA goop.
I usually add peanut butter. Because a girl can only take so much healthiness in her life.
And then I sit on the couch and eat my goop while I watch Matt do P90X. God, I wish Tony Horton would die. He's ruining my goop experience.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
If a blog falls in the forest, and nobody hears it, does it make a sound?
"What sort of diary should I like mine to be? Something loose knit and yet not slovenly, so elastic that it will embrace any thing, solemn, slight or beautiful that comes into my mind. I should like it to resemble some deep old desk, or capacious hold-all, in which one flings a mass of odds and ends without looking. I should like to come back, after a year or two, and find that the collection had sorted itself...into a mould, transparent enough to reflect the light of our life."
--Virginia Woolf, A Writer's Diary
I don't know why I blog.
There's something inherently self-important and therefore kind of embarrassing about blogging. And yet, I keep doing it!
I also read a ridiculous number of really random blogs.
For example:
smittenkitchen.com
This woman posts the most amazing-looking recipes. I read her blog even though I've never made a single one of them. Ever. I read it mostly to look at pictures she posts of her ADORABLE kid. A kid I don't know that belongs to a woman I don't know. That's the creepiest thing ever.
younghouselove.com
Or there's these annoying assholes. They're a couple of newlyweds who are always redecorating their house. I don't have a house. And yet, I read on. Why? Their perkiness makes me want to slap them though my computer monitor. And I'm pretty sure that he doesn't know that he's gay. But he clearly is.
corporette.com
This blog is "a fashion and lifestyle blog for overachieving chicks." I am absolutely not an overachieving chick. I'd say mediocre at best. In the past year, they've debated the merits of wearing open-toed shoes in the courtroom no less than five times. Am I tuning in solely to find out if they ever come up with a definitive answer? Do I care? What is wrong with me?
I guess what I'm saying is, I realize that blogging is a strange phenomenon.
The best I can come up with is that I do it as a kind of diary. Like a virtual scrapbook. But with less trips to Hobby Lobby for supplies.
So thanks for reading my diary. XOXOXO
P.S. I don't even like Virginia Woolf.
P.P.S. Side note: Right now I'm watching "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" on the Discovery Channel. One reoccurring theme in this show is that the woman are mostly fat. And I don't just throw that term around. So, please, if anyone's reading, don't let me ever get so fat that I don't know that there's another person growing inside of me. Seriously.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Aug 17, 2010 9:13 am US/Central
Man Strikes Officers With Stolen Police SUV
CHICAGO (Sun-Times Media Wire) ―
A North Side man was arrested over the weekend after striking two police officers with a stolen police sport-utility vehicle as he attempted to flee two earlier crashes and two attempted car jackings.
Anthony McCoy, 41, disobeyed a red light at LaSalle Boulevard and Ontario Street on Sunday, crashed into a vehicle and fled the scene, according to a police News Affairs release. The occupants of the vehicle that was struck were injured.
McCoy then crashed again at Halsted Street and Grand and Milwaukee avenues, again causing injury to the occupants of the vehicle that was struck, according to the release. He fled but the vehicle he was driving became immobile in the 900 block of West Grand Avenue.
He then attempted to enter passing vehicles and eventually gained entry into a 1999 Isuzu with a 4-year-old child inside, according to the release. McCoy attempted to push the driver out the vehicle, but he refused to get out and McCoy eventually entered the back of a 2007 Mercury cab, the release said.
The cab driver exited the car and locked the doors, but McCoy kicked out the rear passenger's side window and escaped, the release said.
A Near North District police officer attempted to arrest McCoy, but he was able to push free and steal a police SUV, according to the release. A Wood District police officer responded and McCoy struck both officers with the police SUV, the release said.
McCoy eventually crashed into a fire hydrant and officers were able to subdue him with the help of a passerby, according to the release.
McCoy, of the 1500 block of West Fullerton Avenue, was charged with thirteen crimes, including four felonies.
Last weekend, I was just minding my business, riding my bike to Goodwill to do a little thrift store shopping, when I got wrapped up in this whole damn shit-show. I thought homeboy was going to run me over with his car and when I tried to ride off to safety, he was there at EVERY TURN I TOOK! At some point he even looked at my bike and got a twinkle in his eye, so I basically just genuflected and set the poor thing down on the ground for him because I really didn't want him to tackle the crap out of me. Luckily, that's when the cops showed up and he took off and so my bike was saved! Score one for the Chicago Police Department! (Pay no mind to the fact that the suspect then escaped them, stole their SUV, and hit them with it...those failures are far outweighed by the fact that they saved my bike).
I came home and chugged several wine spritzers while I reflected on the fact that I'm not great in the face of emergencies and should probably invest in some pepper spray.
And, because I witnessed the whole thing, I had to tell the police about everything I saw. I'm secretly hoping I get called in for the trial because I would be a VERY good witness. I'd cry and everything. Because c'mon! That punk wanted to take my bike!
Man Strikes Officers With Stolen Police SUV
CHICAGO (Sun-Times Media Wire) ―
A North Side man was arrested over the weekend after striking two police officers with a stolen police sport-utility vehicle as he attempted to flee two earlier crashes and two attempted car jackings.
Anthony McCoy, 41, disobeyed a red light at LaSalle Boulevard and Ontario Street on Sunday, crashed into a vehicle and fled the scene, according to a police News Affairs release. The occupants of the vehicle that was struck were injured.
McCoy then crashed again at Halsted Street and Grand and Milwaukee avenues, again causing injury to the occupants of the vehicle that was struck, according to the release. He fled but the vehicle he was driving became immobile in the 900 block of West Grand Avenue.
He then attempted to enter passing vehicles and eventually gained entry into a 1999 Isuzu with a 4-year-old child inside, according to the release. McCoy attempted to push the driver out the vehicle, but he refused to get out and McCoy eventually entered the back of a 2007 Mercury cab, the release said.
The cab driver exited the car and locked the doors, but McCoy kicked out the rear passenger's side window and escaped, the release said.
A Near North District police officer attempted to arrest McCoy, but he was able to push free and steal a police SUV, according to the release. A Wood District police officer responded and McCoy struck both officers with the police SUV, the release said.
McCoy eventually crashed into a fire hydrant and officers were able to subdue him with the help of a passerby, according to the release.
McCoy, of the 1500 block of West Fullerton Avenue, was charged with thirteen crimes, including four felonies.
Last weekend, I was just minding my business, riding my bike to Goodwill to do a little thrift store shopping, when I got wrapped up in this whole damn shit-show. I thought homeboy was going to run me over with his car and when I tried to ride off to safety, he was there at EVERY TURN I TOOK! At some point he even looked at my bike and got a twinkle in his eye, so I basically just genuflected and set the poor thing down on the ground for him because I really didn't want him to tackle the crap out of me. Luckily, that's when the cops showed up and he took off and so my bike was saved! Score one for the Chicago Police Department! (Pay no mind to the fact that the suspect then escaped them, stole their SUV, and hit them with it...those failures are far outweighed by the fact that they saved my bike).
I came home and chugged several wine spritzers while I reflected on the fact that I'm not great in the face of emergencies and should probably invest in some pepper spray.
And, because I witnessed the whole thing, I had to tell the police about everything I saw. I'm secretly hoping I get called in for the trial because I would be a VERY good witness. I'd cry and everything. Because c'mon! That punk wanted to take my bike!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Recovery
Even as I write this I'm still recovering from a weekend of much celebration with the lovely ladies of Kaleidoscope!
I started my trip to St. Louis with a phone call from Jaime to say that she's engaged!
Jaime and I met almost eight years ago today and it remains one of the best hands fate has dealt me. I had the pleasure of sharing a room with her for four years. That's longer than anyone else I've shared a room with, including my current living-in-sin-situation. Not only did we not kill each other (aside from one incident where she wanted to wear tennis shoes to the bar and I stupidly questioned her decision), but we had an awesome time and I cherish our friendship.
J, I love you and David and your relationship brings me great joy. I could not be happier for you. I can't wait to plan and party over the next year!
As for the rest of the weekend, it was filled with typical K-Scope antics.
Highlights include boozy manicures, beer pong, a BBQ, chat roulette, a visit to the arch, too much talk about corn, a horrible karaoke performance, and a lot of smacking the floor.
I always return from our reunions feeling more like myself and being reminded that it's ok if I haven't got it all figured out just yet. I'm so grateful to have a group of funny, interesting, smart woman to call my friends and I miss them everyday.
Although all that playing left me feeling like this:
I'm still already gearing up for K-Scope Reunion 2K11! Love you all!
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