Just 28 to go!

After giving it some thought, I decided not to publish my previously mentioned Thirty Before Thirty list.  I don't need people judging me for all those salted caramels I ate this weekend when Goal #25 is to "Reach stupid secret goal weight." (That's a real goal.)

But, I will brag about the fact that I crossed something off the list.

I am the proud new owner of an IRA.  That stands for "something Retirement something."  I am taking charge of my financial future.  And, get this...it's not just some lame, bank-held IRA that just sits there doing nothing!  It's a stock market/mutual fund/whatchamacallit!  Because I am young and can afford to take risks!  It is out there this very second making me money!

Well, actually, in the four months I've had it, it's only made me like, $17.  And one month it actually lost me money.  Which was very confusing, since films like Wall Street would have me believe that stockbrokers are working tirelessly and sometimes even illegally to make my money make more money.  But maybe that just goes to them.

Side Rant: I frequently think about how unfortunate it is that I like working with kids and families for a living.  Because if I liked working with hedge funds or something I would be much better off.  (Disclaimer: I have no idea what a hedge fund is, although I have a feeling it's been explained to me numerous times).  And don't start telling me I'm better off spiritually/emotionally/whatever because of what I do.  That may be true, but right now momma has her eye on a new spring wardrobe that she can't afford and wishes she worked with hedge funds.

Question: Is it too late?  Answer: I just Googled "Is it too late for me to start a career in hedge funds?"  I didn't find an answer.  But what I did find was a book titled, "Hedge Fund Wives."  It's about a hedge fund wife who becomes "increasingly aware of her husband's growing preoccupation with money and appearances."  This is clearly the way to go and I'll try to convince Matt to start a career in hedge funds when I get home, as I have no problem with him having a preoccupation with money and appearances.  So that's settled.

Anway, although this was apparently a crummy time to get an IRA, my investment company tells me there is no time like the present to invest.  And I will continue to blindly listen to my investment company because it assisted me in accomplishing Goal #16 "Set up a retirement fund."

Back by popular demand!

And by "popular demand" I mean my mom and my sister asked about why I hadn't posted.  And that's all the demand I need to feel like they like me!  They really like me!  And who am I not to give the people what they want?

 

I have no excuses, except that March was cray-cray.  I hate those people who are always bragging about how busy they are and how full their social schedules are and making you feel bad about your own monotonous nights filled with reruns of Law and Order SVU and leftovers with your cat.  But for realsies, it was a busy month.  Here is the short version:

 

Visit from Signe: Technically pre-March, but post-the last blog posting.  We made a second attempt at this awesome moment:

The only thing missing were those awesome bangs and I think that's for the best.

 

Trip to St. Louis for Jaime's bridal shower: Glad I could be there for the kick-off of their wedding festivities!  It was a quick, 36-hour trip, but we stayed up very late and made the best of it!

Steve and Katrina came to visit: Cuban food, dancing, and matzo ball soup ensued.  We also celebrated Derek's birthday.  The theme was green.  Like, the color.  Not eco-friendly.  There was a lot of dressing up, but I'm not totally sure why.  

This is a wig.  And thank God for that because the birthday boy looks like a real child molester with that hair.

Matt will literally take ANY excuse to wear a vest without a shirt on.  The kid was born to be a Chippendales dancer.  

 

Amber came to visit: I got to see her for four nights which is a total rarity!  We ate our way through most of the city and I miss her face already.

Sometimes we wear matching outfits.  By accident.  

 

Indoor water park for Jeannil's b-day: Honest to God, this was her birthday wish.  To go to an indoor water park filled with screaming kids and E. coli.  I wish I had pictures from this day.  It was surreal.  Thank goodness they had a bar.  Also, Matt scraped up his face horsing around in the lazy river.  And the only thing more sad than a bunch of adults without kids at an indoor water park is an adult busting up his grill at an indoor water park.

Throw in a trip to Michigan to celebrate Kelsey's birthday, which was great, and a trip to Minnesota for a family funeral, which was both sad and beautiful, and that wraps up March.

Clearly we're well into April.  And there's nothing on the agenda for a few weeks.  And that makes me so, so happy.  Because while March was full of fun times...sometimes I need to watch reruns of Law and Order SVU and eat leftovers with my cat.

I’ll be honest.  I forgot this thing existed.  To be fair, my memory is getting worse by the second.  I watched four Law and Order SVU episodes yesterday and I couldn’t tell you what any of them were about if my life depended on it.    I’d guess rape.  Or murder.  Or a rape-murder combo.

Anyway.

I took a new position at work.  I’d tell you what it is, but I’m not entirely sure yet and I won’t know more until I start next week.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it doesn’t involve a mop and a broom.  In good news, my new position came with a raise!  In bad news, my health insurance payment went up exactly that amount.  Universe: 1; Nikki: 0.

I had Matt thisclose to letting us drive to Mount Vernon, Indiana to pick up an adorable and expensive puppy over the weekend.  Mostly because I was bored and needed a little excitement in my life.  Damn this Chicago weather!  We were going to name him Watson or Gary and he was going to love me and do all sorts of tricks and play nice with Izzy.  Somehow Matt managed to stall long enough that I forgot all about the puppy.  Which is probably what I would have done once we got Watson home (see above about progressively worsening memory).  This is best for everyone.  Mostly Watson.

In other news, I found out today that John Travolta is bald.  This pretty much rocked my world.  What else don't I know?  Things are not as they seem!  God, if I find out that Michael Bolton's beautiful mane isn't real I might just give up on life right now.

We have an exciting few weeks coming up!  This weekend, my friend Signe is in town.  Next weekend, I’m off to St. Louis for Jaime’s bridal shower.  And the following weekend, our friends Steve and Katrina are coming to stay.  So I’ll have lots to report on when I check back in!  And maybe pictures.  I'm sure you're dying to see a picture of me, in my sweatpants, watching Law and Order SVU while I browse the internet for puppies, but I prefer to keep you waiting.

Where the Hell is that global warming everyone is talking about?

I shouldn't be whining.  I am, after all, at home having the first snow day I've had since my days as a Big Walnut Eagle.  They are still just as exciting.

Hightlights:
1. The Chicago Police Department bought a whole bunch of snowmobiles to rescue stranded drivers during the blizzard.  And because snowmobiles are fun.
2. Chicago Public Schools were closed for the first time in 12 years.  Those poor kids deserved a damn snow day.
3. We got to see "thundersnow" which is every bit as awesome as it sounds.

Even Matt stayed home today, although as I type he's sitting next to me doing work.  He has no idea how to have a snow day.  Rule One: You do not do work on a snow day.  Rule Two: See Rule One.

Before all this chaos began, I spent a very quick weekend in Sunbury celebrating my quasi-Aunt Dee's birthday.  I got pretty sick while I was there, which my mom attributes to all the rum cake I ate.  I don't know why I thought that baked goods ladened with liquor wouldn't have the same effect on me that liquor normally has.  Damn that cake for being so delicious and deceptive!  Nevertheless, Happy birthday, Dee!  I hope you had a snow day today, too and are spending the afternoon in your reading room!

Now it's time for me to get back to not working.  I realize I've been a negligent blogger lately and I promise more posts just as soon as I damn well feel like it.

Stop whatever you're doing.

Somehow, I managed to miss the Miss America pageant last night.  I was ridiculously focused on a Settlers of Catan game and it just wasn't on my radar.  Even though I won the game, I was pretty pissed when I realized what I'd missed out on.

But all is not lost, because I got to see this clip today:

Is this not the most awesome thing you've ever seen?  You know all the other contestants were totally talking trash about her behind her back.  But, the joke is on them!  Because while they ALL danced and sang (honestly, like all 51 of them), she ventriloquized (I had to look that up) AND yodeled, bitch!

Miss Arkansas, you got robbed! 

I'm surprised this thing is even still here!

I'm actually a little hungover.  Correction: I'm a lot hungover.  As a result, I don't have a lot to say so I'll just share some of my favorite pictures from the holidays.  I had an AMAZING time in the Outer Banks and am pretty unhappy about being back.  I was really born to be on vacation.  Permanently. 

We worked REALLY hard to find a live Christmas Tree on the island.  Success!

Puzzling and boozing go hand-in-hand.

Thurman refusing to let my parents dance without him.  He's got dependency issues.

Note to self: Grandpa lets you eat ice cream when you wake up on Christmas morning before everyone else. 

This WHOLE tree washed up on shore!

 Couples portrait.  Done.

 Bay Point Middle School is #1!  In what, I do not know.

Adorable.

 The children eventually got a little cabin fever.

 Annual Family Photo made creepy.